Gram
was born in
San Francisco before the big earthquake. We don't know
exactly when (1904,1905, she always kept her age a mystery, even going
so far as to scratch it off her drivers' license), but her birth
certificate was destroyed in the fire.
She was very proud of being a native Californian, being born in S.F.,
of being an American. She was very patriotic. She
took her
duty as a citizen very seriously, and always wrote letters
to her councilmen, State Representatives, and even to Presidents.
She circulated petitions to put issues on the ballot, even coming
to my office and getting signatures from the people I worked with.
Gram was a very independent woman. She didn't follow the
crowd,
and she really didn't bother herself with what others thought of her.
Many times Gram lived in a world different from those around
her.
It was by her choosing, the way she liked to look at things.
Sometimes that made it difficult to form deep relationships.
When Gram was just a baby, her bed was a dresser drawer. As
she
grew up, she lived in many different places, ranging from a shack with
a dirt floor, to beautiful multi-story homes.. But the
beautiful
houses were not hers, she simply lived there, helping the families
while Trudy (her mother) was working as a domestic elsewhere.
She told me the happiest time of her life was when she lived in Cornell
(she was -7 or 8); Trudy was postmistress. They had a little
store where she would sell ammunition and other essentials to the
hunters and traders passing by, and they had a little tiny library of
borrowed books, (mostly the classics) that she would read for hours.
She enjoyed listening to the discussion between Trudy and the
"regulars" about politics, philosophy, literature and social issues.
Her best friend was Susie, a donkey who belonged to a neighbor.
The neighbors moved to Los Angeles, but Gram didn't let that
stop her. When Gram was given money for a coat, instead she
and
Trudy walked all the way to LA and bought Susie. It was a 2-day journey
both ways, and they simply slept by the side of the road at night.
When she grew up, she went to business school and became a secretary.
She worked in that capacity for over 55 years, and spent time
as
Secretary to LA Councilman John Ferraro. She was always
very proud of that.
During her twenties, Gram met and married my Grandfather,
Fernando Marzo. Together they had two daughters, Nancy and Carol Ann.
Gram spent many happy hours with her girls when they were
young.
I've heard stories of gardening together, shopping, sewing
and
special outings on Angel's Flight. Sadly, their marriage was
not
a happy union, they simply lived in two different worlds, looking at
reality
from different perspectives. Gram made choices that would
cause
her great pain in her later years.
Gram enjoyed ballroom dancing and making or embellishing her own ball
gowns. She met Sol, her second husband, on the dance floor.
Now I would like to share some of my personal memories:
Before every Christmas, the granddaughters would spend the night at
Gram's. We would go through her clothes, shoes and jewelry to
play dress up, and play games in the little hidden space in the back of
her closet. The next day, we would go downtown to shop for
our
Christmas outfits. We had a wild time.
The families would spend Christmas Eve at Gram's. She didn't
cook, but we had an entire pastrami, roast beef or corned beef dinner.
When we got to her house, she would greet the grandchildren
with
little pieces of paper. She had written a play for us to
act out, and our individual lines were typed out for us. And,
of course, we had to dress in costume!
She always had olives! Whether we were at her house
or she was visiting, there were always cans of black olives.
Gram never attended any get together at the time it was held.
She
always arrived and left early, floating in and out on her own schedule.
Gram took all nine of us grandchildren to see the Batman movie in
Hollywood. She had her little Metropolitan car, so Mary,
Rita
and I were sitting in the trunk with a piece of wood propping up the
hood, while the rest were smashed in the back seat.
Gram loved flowers and gardens. She had them on her
property, in her house, or somewhere nearby. I remember
hunting
for Easter eggs in her rose garden at Commonwealth.
She loved being associated with the Arts. She visited museums
and
was a volunteer docent for the Hancock Park Arts Council.
She loved to write, and kept copies of almost everything she ever
wrote. She sent some of her writings for publication, and was
published once under a nom de plume. I think she regretted not
publishing under her own name.
She owned property, kept moving, buying and selling until
she finally lived in her house on the hill.
Little things were special to Gram. She would find a little
glass, a piece of wood, a tiny statue, and it would be her found
treasure.
Gram was a health food fan. I remember her always having
fresh
squeezed orange juice and carrot juice for me. There was a
time I
could tell you all about the healing properties of almost any vitamin
or food. When we went to the Health Food Fair just a
few years ago, many of the vendors knew her!
She always wore hats! And they were always modified
by her, adorned with flowers, beads, jewels or feathers. And
shoes! She wore those high, 4 inch heels all the time, doing
her
everyday things, even after 2 hip surgeries!
She wore what she wanted to wear, what she felt looked good on her,
regardless of style, her age or what anyone else thought.
That
caused me a lot of embarrassment over the years, especially the leopard
print jumpsuit. But, that's what I was looking for when I
wanted
to have something to remind me of her.
Guardian Angels watched over Gram. Many times she was in a
place
or situation that was unsafe, but she was totally oblivious.
She
walked around in her own world, seeing things through her own special
glasses.
Gram was never a "normal" grandmother. We had to call before
we
came over, or make an appointment, she never baked cookies, and we were
to tell people she was our special friend. She once
took me with her to a belly dancing class. She was like the
mom
portrayed by Cher in the movie "mermaids".
Gram lived her life in her own way, and I loved her. She will
probably always be unaware of the beauty and chaos she left in her wake.
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